Many people have wondered at some point how to prepare their child for an unsafe situation without scaring them. Self-defense is not all about punches, kicks and/or drills for kids. Say No, Get Away, Tell is the simple and easy-to-remember rule for personal safety for elementary school students.
The three easy steps are easy to remember for young minds, easy to remind of by parents and teachers, and work if the threat is from a stranger, bully or an uncomfortable situation with someone they know. In this guide, we’ll take a close look at the details of teaching this framework, the importance, and how structured kids self defense programs can help establish it as a habit.
Why Self Defense for Kids Matters More Than Ever
Elementary school is the time when children begin to make something of themselves – for example, getting on the bus and walking to a friend’s house or using the school bathroom unaided. While it’s a positive development, it does mean that children require concrete personal safety for kids skills and not simply offhand suggestions such as “don’t talk to strangers”.
Stranger danger is not the only factor in modern child safety skills. They know how to identify when their peer is violating a boundary, being confident enough to exit an uncomfortable situation, and that it’s smart and safe to communicate with an adult, and reporting it isn’t “tattling. These skills can be taught to kids and developed and solidified into their confidence, a confidence that extends to all aspects of their life, and not just for emergencies.
The “Say No, Get Away, Tell” Framework Explained
Say no, get away, tell is easy to say – even by a six-year-old – and yet capable of being used in virtually any situation where they feel unsafe, pushed by a stranger, bullied by a classmate or pushed by an adult.
Step 1: Say No – Teaching Children to Say No With Confidence
The first skill is a verbal skill. Saying no to kids, means giving them permission to use a loud strong voice – yes with adults and other people they know. Do at home phrases such as “No!”. Stop!” or “Leave me alone! shouted firmly. It’s a matter of teaching children to behave in different ways when they are in danger of being hurt, many of whom are brought up to be polite at all times.
Step 2: Get Away – Creating Physical Distance
When a child responds, ‘no’, the next step is to get away, walking away from the person making the child feel uncomfortable. This is not to run out blindly or aimlessly; it is to run towards a safe place, towards a populated place – a store, a teacher, a bunch of other kids, or home. In school, this is one of the essential self defense skills, wherever the student is, they can head towards the safe area in the hall, on the playground or on the bus very quickly.
Step 3: Tell – Building the Habit of Speaking Up
The final step is quite often the one that is missed. Children should be made to understand that no matter how trivial an incident may be, they must go to a trusted adult – parent, teacher or someone at the school – for help immediately. Emphasize that there is no secret to someone feeling uncomfortable or afraid and that it is never “getting someone in trouble” to tell. This is just one of the most important child safety skills a parent can instill.
Self Defense Tips for Kids You Can Practice at Home
It is not essential to have a training mat to begin developing these skills. Use these tips for children’s self defense that you can incorporate into daily life:
- Role-play scenarios. Act out situations – a stranger asking for help finding a lost puppy, a classmate not respecting personal space – and practice the Say No, Get Away, Tell response together.
- Use a “safe word.” Talk to your child about creating a family password for trusted adults that only you and your child should know, so that your child can confirm if those who say they are from you and your family are telling the truth.
- Practice a loud voice. Far too many children have never shouted at their mother, “No” loud enough. If you try it at home, it’s more acceptable when you finally do use it.
- Talk about digital safety too. Personal safety now applies to online too – remind children to and tell them to close the app and report to an adult if it is uncomfortable or not appropriate.
But if you’re looking to really dive in deeper to how to teach personal safety to different age groups, our post on self defense for preschoolers has that information broken down for younger brothers and sisters too.
Self Defense for Kids Being Bullied: Applying the Framework at School
The framework is used most often in situations where bullying occurs. When children are being bullied, their self defense is not about fighting; it’s about learning a process that is clear and repeatable:
- Say No – This is an assertive, clear response that can shock a bully and disengage the escalation of the moment, for example, “Stop I don’t like that.
- Get Away – If the child is in an isolated place that is vulnerable to bullies, walk away to a safe spot with a teacher, recess monitor, or friend.
- Tell – Reporting the incident to a teacher or parent will keep this pattern from repeating itself unnoticed.
Having these self-defense skills in school is for the students as they are not reliant on physical strength or size but on them feeling confident, aware and communicating, something that every child is able to do no matter their age or athletic capability.
Elementary School Safety Tips Parents and Teachers Should Know
In addition to the framework, there are a few ideas for elementary school safety that help support a safety culture in schools for young learners:
- Create a walking buddy program. With classmates to school, bathroom and/or bus stop
- Help children listen to their intuition. Even if it doesn’t feel right, it is okay to get out – even if they can’t say why
- Maintain open lines of communication. So children can discuss small incidents that may become big ones before they do
- Frequently check and review the framework. Not just once. So if it’s time after time, then it’s an instinct.
Combined with the Say No, Get Away, Tell components these habits lay a solid foundation for self defense that can be useful with the elementary students long after they go home.
Why Structured Kids Self Defense Classes Make a Difference
Discussing these points within the family is a very good way to begin but, lessons learned in the real world through hands-on and structured self-defense training efforts stick with kids. Children then take the opportunity in class to practice the skills of distance, volume and reaction under mild, controlled pressure, to transfer knowledge into muscle memory.
Our Kids Martial Arts Classes in Portland at Instinct Defense Academy expand on this Say No, Get Away, Tell principle. We build students’ awareness, self-control and true confidence, no matter the age of the student, through age-appropriate drills that extend into their friendships, schoolwork and everyday decision making. Also check out our article about what a first class looks like in our article about kids self defense class Portland.
Bringing the Whole Family Into Personal Safety
Personal safety is best when it’s a family value and not only a lesson for the kids. Parents that set firm and confident limits and awareness will find it much easier for children to learn the same. Our Empower Her or the self-defense for women class teaches the same basic skills – setting boundaries, knowing to trust your instincts, and responding with clarity to threats – that will help you become more confident and aware even as you help your child improve. Together as a family, providing families with that family safety message will reinforce safety as a skill each family member knows and understands.
Final Thoughts
Self-defense for children does not involve teaching your child to be a fighter – it involves teaching your child a clear, well-remembered strategy for those times when it is important. Whether it’s encountering a stranger, bullying or an uneasy situation with another student you know, Say No, Get Away, Tell provides a framework for elementary students to remember and utilize.
If you are looking for your child to develop these skills in a safe, structured setting, learn about our Kids Martial Arts Classes in Portland, or contact us to register and find out about future classes.
FAQ: Self Defense For Kids
1. What is the best way to start teaching self defense for kids?
Planting seeds for debate, don’t fire guns. Teach simple role-play at home for a few weeks prior to being introduced in a class, with the Say No, Get Away, Tell approach. This helps to develop comfort with the concepts first.
2. At what age should kids start self defense for kids being bullied situations?
Around 5 years old, most children are able to begin to learn simple language for boundaries. Formal kids self defense courses are usually offered from about 5-12 years old, when youngsters are able to comprehend and execute what they learn.
3. Are self defense techniques for students in school realistic for young children?
Yes. The skills instructed to elementary students are based on awareness, verbal assertiveness and escape not combat. These are real world, low-risk skills that all children can learn and apply.
4. How do I reinforce how to teach kids personal safety outside of class?
Repetition is key. Regularly use the three steps in role-play; maintain open communication so your child can let you know about things, praise when your child uses the structure correctly.
5. Does self defense for elementary students help with bullying, not just strangers?
Absolutely. It was made to be adaptable – it can be used for strangers, your peers, and perfected surroundings with familiar grownups, and is among the extra versatile primary institution protection suggestions you can share.
6. Is teaching children to say no considered rude or disrespectful?
No. Do not talk about telling others or children to say no in the context of personal safety, it is not about disrespect. Children can be taught to distinguish between common sense conveniences and assertiveness when confronted by something that’s not safe.